Diary Of A Ghanaian Househelp: E04 I AM INNOCENT!!

Dear Diary,
Today is Tuesday, 15th April and I have missed you so much. I know you are wondering why we have not had a chat in a while. Yes, I know, it has been exactly 50 days since I last made an entry into you. Hmmmm, it’s not my doing, not at all.

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Rules Of Engagement For Fighting On Facebook #Funny

What’s up with everyone?
I have noticed for a while now, that a lot of people are beefing on Social Media especially on my FB News feed. So today guys, we are just going to talk about the Do’s and Don’ts of Facebook Fights and Facebook Scandals. I have been laughing out loud at the some of the guys beefing over who is more FB FAMOUS, Who is fake? and their supporters( friends) have joined in this craze. Continue reading

Boys, What Is Your Taste In Women? #Funny

I know you are probably wondering what is going on with me and why I chose to write this post? Well some people said, I have lost my funny bone. Truth is, I have not lost my touch. Being funny is not easy but I am trying and I still have so many jokes and jests in store for you my avid readers.

Today, I shall be touching on a certain topic. A man has gotta do what a man has gotta do. So, have you boys ever wondered what kinda girl you want to be with? A lot of us are quick to say we want the godly, good looking, home trained kinda girl while some of us want the bad girl (The Kim Kardasian in nature) Whatever you want, there are basically four types of girls in this world and it is my responsibility to introduce you to them. Whatever!

Guys, I know most of you love football so I will be relating these women to the teams we know in the English Premier League as the “Top Four” teams. Say hello to the Manchester United girl, The Manchester City girl, The Chelsea girl and The Arsenal girl. Rolling… Action!!!

The Manchester United Girl:
The girls in this category are used to having things go their way. They are basically winners at life and have had quite a good upbringing. These girls are often very beautiful and classy. Most of them have had a wonderful dating history and as such expect to date other quality guys. If your girl is a Manchester United fan, chances are that, she expects you to be on top of situations and very competitive. The Manchester United girls do not accept losing as an option which is why they likely won’t date you if you are a “nobody”. Please don’t get me wrong, they can decide to roll with you for a while but when they see that you are not up to par, they bounce. They are maybe not after your money or anything. They are in for the fun and they can still chill with or without your help. If you are a guy with self-esteem and insecurity issues, you might want to consider avoiding these kind of girls and find someone in your “league”. Girls, adey lie?

The Manchester City Girl:
These ones are basically gold diggers. Let’s call a spade a spade. These girls are in it for the money. The thing is they don’t even like to ball on small money, these girls are out for the big time fraud barons, Ministers of state and rich sugar daddies.. Oh so you think, you drive a Camry or a Honda and so you think you can bang one of these Man City Girls? Hahaha…you are  funnier than me. Trips to the United States, Shopping in London and honeymoon in Paris are just some of the necessities of their life. These girls are quite competitive and love to win. They will go any distance to get what they want irrespective of who gets hurt. Basically, they don’t play fair. Boys, if you are dating or attempting to date one of these, you better have a surname that ends with Gates, Mahama, Banda or billions of dollars in your Swiss account somewhere. If they get with you and see you are not delivering results, they would dump you so fast, Usain Bolt will have nothing on you.

The Chelsea Girl:
The “Started from the bottom, now we are here” girls. These girls are mostly ”attachers”. Some time ago, they were nowhere, and then all of a sudden, they came in contact with some old man millionaire and BOOM! Levels change. They are somehow similar to the Man City girl, in that they are money driven but the difference is that, they have got class. The Chelsea type babes are mostly “dirty” but they have been touched by some money and the money somehow “cleaned them up” The truth however remains that, they don’t change their ruffian character and they will break a beer bottle on your head at the slightest provocation. Yes beer, they drink beer. Would I advise you to date a Chelsea girl? Would I advise you to get knocked down by a Long Vehicle?

The Arsenal Girl:
These ones are very beautiful. They possess a sense of style and are graceful in all they do, from their movement to the way they talk. Yes, they have natural swag. But, on the flip side, they can be jokes at times. The Arsenal girls are more concerned with keeping up appearances and what society will think or say about their actions. Most Arsenal girls end up as side chicks because of this behavior. Their boyfriends love them for real and want them to change but they rarely do. I must point out that they are very prudent, they don’t spend anyhow and would most likely remain faithful and true to their guys no matter, his social status..

So there we have it, the top four girl types. The fact still remains that, these same characteristics are typical of the football clubs they represent. Did I make you laugh or smile? If I did, share your thoughts in the comment box below. Thank you for reading..

TheGhanaianBoy
@isavedhersoul

Why Do Some Ghanaian Girls Find It Fun To Be Shashees/ Hoes/ Whores/ Prostitutes?

Whats up everyone? I am back again. I am really starting to think that,  some Ghanaian girls have the ability of not having the ability to feel shame about what they do. In short, they are shameless.

Let me tell you a story:
Well, there were two girls living in the same community with me. Lets call them Akosua and Akweley for purposes of this writing but those are not their real names though.. I had never spoken to them before, but anytime I was walking with a friend, who had come into close contact with them. My friend would mutter under his breath, very abusive words against those girls. I heard, they were the hood whores, who offered sexual favors to men for money.

In Dec 2013,  one of them,  Akosua moved from the hood because her whore mongering could no longer pay for her rented single room, and she had been caught several times with different men (married men were no exception) and got involved in several street fights with partners of her clients.. All these factors booted her out from the neighborhood..

Recently, an issue took place in the neighborhood with Akweley. I was walking, minding my business and then, this gorilla (Lord Forgive Me) with no job, and who still lives with his mother,  started wolf- whistling for Akweley to stop.  She did not stop and then the dude started dissing her with a lot of hurtful words associated with sex..

I saw the whole incident, and then I took a detour and headed in the direction, Akweley was taking. That was the first time, I was going to talk to her but I had to. She was surprised at me walking up to her, because she probably heard i don’t talk to trash Ghanaian girls like her.. (Pardon Me) She attempted to wash the guilt and shame of what she does, but telling me she had a child at age 19, and there was no stable man in her life to take care of her. She was also embarrassed to be living with her mother at age 22,  who is really struggling to help her take care of her son..

It was so disheartening and if you looked up the words: shame and disgrace, her name should be have been a synonym..

But what I don’t get is why some Ghanaian girls think, its funny, to be in such an embarrassing position, where they are only thought of and used as a piece of garbage. Many Ghanaian men want nothing else to do with Ghanaian girls than to fuck them and that’s it.
Many Ghanaian girls paint that picture of being sexual objects to satisfy a man’s pleasure, and they accept such mentality about themselves, and then try to laugh and giggle their way through,  such very ignorant things they do on a daily basis, and then they get laughed at on Social Media, with their nude pictures and sex tapes all over the internet.. But unfortunately, they don’t see it this way.. It is very, very sad and pathetic..

TheGhanaianBoy
@isavedhersoul

The Prostitute/ Shashee/ Hooker/ Town Helper/ Whore Who Saved The World.

I am still in the International Women’s Day spirit. This past Saturday was International Women’s Day, a day to inspire girls and celebrate women’s achievements and, in many countries, an official holiday. I am not the only one, some Ghanaian television stations have declared March as the Month of The African Woman..

I have always maintained my argument anytime the issue of prostitution and whores (Ghanaian boys call them Shashees) pops up for discussion. I keep saying that the prostitutes of today are no longer the “Old Women” we all used to know. They are with us. Students by day, prostitutes at night. Bills, hostel fees, school fees have to be paid somehow and in this kind of economy we are in, they are using, what they have to get what they want/need.. That is not to say I support what they do but I am not condemning them either..

For some people, prostitution is just standing by the roadside, getting picked up by a flashy car, all for money. That is just as low as life can get for some many Ghanaian girls.
But history, as we know it is full of stories. Stories of prostitutes who used their skills to influence higher powers and society.. And they changed the world..

I am going to focus on just one of them and her name was Rahab.
Rahab The Prostitute:
Welcome to Jericho. Rahab probably came from a poor family with a sick, dying mother and a father who abandoned the family in search of smaller girls.. Lets also imagine, she has 3 younger siblings who were constantly sacked from school for not paying their school fees. Bills have to be paid, and so what does Rahab do?
She stands at street corners and dark places, granting sex favours to clients, all for the money to take care of her family..

But by all accounts, she was good at it too.. Because, by the time, she comes up in the Bible, she had her her own house and made a comfortable income by sleeping with men..

What made her great?
The Israelites were on their way to the Promised Land. They had been living in the desert for over 30 years and then God instructed them to take possession of Jericho. Joshua, the leader of the Israelites, sent out two spies to scout the City of Jericho. The two young Jews did their job and then sought refuge at Rahab’s house. The Bible did not state why they chose to stay there but it was obvious that, the two Jews were scouting the City to know its strengths and weaknesses.

The King of Jericho heard about the two spies and sent out his soldiers to look for them. Rahab hid the two men, and then convinced the soldiers, that the spies were hiding somewhere else..Because of Rahab’s smartness, the spies were able to bring important imformation back to Joshua which helped the Israelites conquer the City of Jericho..

That is right. Believe whatever you want to believe about the Bible but it is right there in the Old Testament, that the course of history was turned by a prostitute with a good heart. She saved the world and was saved from the destruction of Jericho herself..

God can use anybody, anytime, any day. You just have to avail yourself to Him wholeheartedly. It is not right to judge people and please keep that in mind, the next time, you are congratulating yourself for sleeping with a guy without asking for his money. Hypocrites Like Us..

TheGhanaianBoy‬
@isavedhersoul

Diary Of A Ghanaian Househelp: E03 Intentions

Dear Diary,
Today is 23th February. Well, I was sitting in the living room earlier today, watching television with a glass of juice in one hand. There was nothing positive showing on television except for those music videos with girls in seductive clothes, shaking their bum-bum. But I was enjoying myself. It was such a refreshing feeling- the feeling of feeling like Madam in her absence. The music from the television was extremely loud and so I did not hear the car horn toot its way into the house. Abaga, the watchman at the gate failed to alert me but my instincts were right. Madam and Uncle had arrived.

Come and see speed. Even Usain Bolt got nothing on me. I quickly put off the television, emptied the remaining contents of the glass in the kitchen sink and then ran towards the gate all in the space of 60secs. Pretty Fast Huh? Madam together with her husband had just returned from the Shopping Mall but all did not seem or look calm. Maybe they had one of their usual family arguments on their way back because as I tried to help Madam with her bag, she brushed me off and walked angrily into the house! See me, see trouble..

“Akua- come over here and help me with the stuff in the boot?” That was Mr Sackey’s voice. He has been very nice to me and he treats me like I am his daughter. He opened the car boot and then I carried a very heavy box out of the boot and headed for the main entrance. Uncle Sackey then chipped in, that He had bought something special for me and I should see him later for it..

Come see me smiling plenty plenty. “Oh Thank You Uncle. God Bless You” “Hold The blessings Akua for now, maybe if you like what I got for you, then you can start showing appreciation” I started feeling awkward but I brushed the awkwardness away and made my way into the house. Not even madam and her tantrums could ruin my happiness. I later found out that, the heavy box was a Baby Cot for Justin- Madam’s baby.. Hmmmm.. See the way, the rich spoil their kids. Come see baby, enjoying baby cot all around the place.

I retired to the kitchen for the next two hours preparing supper for the family and still thinking about the present or maybe presents, Uncle got for me. I like the man. He is very handsome and gentle and sometimes, I think Christie (Oh Yeah, I have called that witch by her first name!) does not deserve him. Abaga who has known the family for a very long time, said Uncle was forced to marry Christie after her parents found out, she was carrying his baby to prevent shame on their family name.

I served the family at 6pm and then went back to the Kitchen to eat my own food. For some strange reason, Madam did not join the family and retired early to bed. That was when it happened:

Uncle Sackey called me to the living room after 8pm to show me the gifts he got me. “Look in the bag and then tell me if you like them” Eagerly I did and it was bras and some thin threadlike panties which he called “G-String” “Eiiii Ewurade Yesu. G- What? How could he buy these kind of items for me? What was he trying to say or imply? Or he has been spying my undergarments when I wash and hang them on the drying line?

“Do you like them, Akua?” I did not respond. I was shocked. Maybe that caused my sudden dumbness. “Do you like them?” He repeated his question again. “Uncle, honestly I do not know what to say?” “What to say about what??” I turned around to see Auntie Christie staring directly at me.. “Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on here?”

Uncle got up calmly from his seat, held her hands, looked her in the eye, and started kissing her all over. “Why are you still standing there? Stupid Maid!!”  I disappeared to my room with the bag. I was damn lucky Madam was not smart or observant enough to ask about the contents in the bag. He called them- “His intention gift”

“Very Funny Uncle Sackey. I am not interested in sleeping with you” – I kept repeating to myself. I must return his gifts back to him tomorrow morning and say a BLATANT NO TO HIM! Meanwhile in the living room, I knew Uncle Sackey had cleverly lied to Madam. And speaking of the devil- “Akua!” “Akua!” ‘Madam!” I ran back to the living room.. “Oh dear, I am sorry for my earlier outburst- I did not know my husband and you were planning a surprise party for me”

The confusion on my face was clearly visible and I could see laughter forming on the corner of Uncle’s mouth. Maybe I should start calling him by his first name John, because after tonight- I have officially lost all respect for him.. I miss my mother. I miss her wise counsel in situations like this. Lord, Please be my Guide.

@isavedhersoul on twitter and please don’t keep the comments in your head and thank you for taking time off to read..

Diary Of A Ghanaian Househelp: E02 Breaking Plates

Dear Diary,
I was standing by the kitchen sink. Washing the dirty dinner plates and I was trying to be extremely careful because I knew fully well that Auntie Christie would be unable to replace one of these expensive plates if I got it broken.
I put on the tap, put the plate under the flowing water when it hit me. The breeze coming through the kitchen window, hit me and past memories came to life.Memories of him, Memories of Us.  James. He who took my whole being. Him. The one I never saw again.

It was a cool Friday afternoon. James had been trying to woo me for a few weeks and I must admit, he was everything I wanted. He was fair in complexion and tall. He always brought me grass cutters from the bush whenever he went hunting with his friends. He was a man. A real man. All the boys in the village envied him and he was the village ladies man.

That day, I was returning home after visiting a few friends. On my way back, he met me along the path and held my hand. God! I felt happiness within my body. He dragged me along a bush path. He kept telling me that I was going see something I had never seen before. I followed him obediently like a puppy. I wanted to be alone with him. Forever. Have him all to myself.
He took to a small open field with grass. A place where we could do anything, we wanted without getting caught.  I was still staring at his face. He kissed me and Oh My God, I was elated. I was blinded by his love. His lips consumed my lips in a rush. My head exploded. I wanted more. We did not say words to each other.  He held my breasts and pressed the firmly. He pressed his body against mine. Oh My God! I wanted more- more of him.. I held him tighter to my body because my knees felt too weak.  He took his hands down slowly to the lower region of my body. I felt excitement. “James! St——-!” The words could not even come out.

James wanted more but I could not give him more. I wanted to. But I could not. I just could not give him my body. I was raised a Christian. I promised God and my mother that I would wait until marriage.
We sat under a tree that day and watched the sun set. I was in love with James and there was nothing anybody could say or do about it..

The next day, I left for Accra. Without even saying goodbye to the boy of my dreams. Oh. How I miss him. He was my first kiss. On that cool Friday..

*the plate slipped from my hand as I tried to wipe away my tears*
It fell from my hand and shattered into tiny pieces.. Auntie Christie heard the sound from the Main Hall and rushed to the Kitchen.. “What happened here?” Madam screamed.. “It was an accident” I tried explaining.. “An accident?” “Stupid Girl! Foolish Girl, you broke a plate worth $1000 and you say its an accident?” “You are a witch just like your poor mother in the village”

Oh no Auntie! Diary, I received a heavy slap for breaking the plate. Auntie Christie has really changed. I do not know why though. She has become extremely cold towards me. She insults me and my mother all the time and on three occasions, I went to bed on an empty stomach. I miss my mother. I know she is praying for me 😥 I miss James but what can I do? Nothing!! I feel like leaving..All I have is you Diary. You are my best friend.

It is @isavedhersoul on twitter and please don’t keep the comments in your head. Say something.

Diary Of A Ghanaian Househelp: E01 The Story Begins

Dear Diary,
Today is Janaury 4th and I am excited today to write my first entry into you.  Maybe I should start it off, by introducing myself to you. I am Akua Amponsah and I am from a remote village somewhere in the Central Region. I don’t know my real date of birth, but my mum believes I was born in 1992.  The village boys say I am very beautiful and it is true. I have got physical assets (front and back), that can make any other girl’s assets look like a small boy.

Well Diary, I was in the house one day, in the backyard washing the jeans of my village lover boy, James when my mother called me. She shouted “Akua” “Akua” like she has never called me before. I left the jeans in the bucket and ran to her.
Getting close to her, I recognized a familiar face. It was Auntie Pat from Accra carrying big polythene bags of what looked like provisions and loaves and bread. “Why are you standing there like a statue? ” Won’t you help your auntie with her load?” I greeted her, collected the bags from her and disappeared.

I reappeared with a glass of water, by which time the two older women had settled into a conversation. “How is Accra?” “How is work?” “How is your husband and the kids?” My auntie’s answers were the same throughout: “Everybody and everything is fine” “We thank God for that”- my over religious mum will reply. I eavesdropped and heard Auntie Pat telling Mummy that,  one of her close friends  who lives in Accra had just given birth and that since her friend,  just had another baby, they will need someone to help them.
“Auntie Pat,  you want me to do house girl work in Accra?” I asked. “No my dear Akua, this one is like assistant house take carer. None of my children will do house help work in Jesus’ name” My mum and I screamed a big “Amen!!”

A week later and diary, here I am in the big city, with  2 complete strangers to call my Master and Madam,  3 drivers, 1 gate man, and a houseboy that I have to live with. For how long? I do not know. But diary, I promise to update you on every thing which goes on in my life from now till I leave Accra.  We will share this adventure together. I can hear my madam shouting my name now and I have to go. By the way, her name is Mrs. Christine Sackey but I have to call her Auntie Christie or Madam. I have not met her husband yet though. He is on a business trip in U.S.A. Chao!!

Its @isavedhersoul on twitter and please don’t keep the comments in your head. Thank you for taking time off to read.

© Nii Aryee 2014. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from the owner/author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nii Aryee and The Ghanaian Boy with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

H For Haters: Delusional People

Delusional people (especially social media freaks) always want to talk about Haters. Delusion is living in a make believe fantasy world that you have created for yourself. It is a world where you are in total control, where you feel comfortable, where no one can judge you and if they do judge you, they aren’t telling you the truth. they are HATING 😦

I see people online all the time, shouting to their haters and shouting out to the people that don’t see them SHINE. You are not lying to me, Facebook or to the world. You are lying to yourself. These wannabe haters you are making noise about don’t exist, because in reality they see you for the real type of person you are, the biggest hater YOU have is YOURSELF.

IF you look in the mirror everyday and you think you see perfectness, you are delusional, and that is what wannabes do. They hate on themselves and spread hate to other people because, they take only what they want to hear in life. “The worst of all frauds is too cheat oneself”.

Let me be clear, nobody is perfect but the truth is, there are people on this planet who are doing better than you. I don’t care who you think you are, someone is more experienced, more intelligent, more spiritual, richer, stronger and faster than you and if you are trying to do better for yourself as a person, you will have to listen, observe the better person and learn. Stop whining and complaining.

What you want to hear is not what you always need to hear. What you need to hear is the truth. A harsh truth is never HATE. Habits can be broken and we can free ourselves from the “HATE” Prison we have built around ourselves. Nobody is hating on you. So wannabes, you can continue to pretend in your wannabe world or you can deal with reality. Some of you may even talk trash about everything you just read. I am okay if you do because the reality is “People cannot change the truth but “the truth can change people.

Good Evening. Its @isavedhersoul on twitter. Follow 😀