What Stories Do You Tell Yourself?

I want to begin this post with a quote from Washington Irving which goes like: “I am always at a loss to know how much to believe of my own stories”

I stumbled upon this quote recently and it really struck a chord with me. But first I had to look up who Washington Irving was. Turns out he was a 19th century American author, essayist and historian. I do not think I had ever heard of him before now – although as I discovered I that I had come across two of his best-known stories The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle before.

Now back to Washington Irving’s quote; and the question that it triggered in my mind is how much should we believe the stories we tell ourselves? For don’t we all tell ourselves stories which define who we are? We are the daughter of X, the son of W, the sister of Y, the mother of Z and so forth. What do you do, people ask us. I work as an accountant; I am a blogger, I work as a pharmacist, I work from home, I am an unemployed mother with two kids, I work in a bank. We tell other stories too. I am a breast cancer survivor. I have ALS. I have HIV/AIDS. I own an NGO. I am a social justice advocate. I feel empowered. I want to make a difference.

And then there are the darker stories we tell ourselves. The less-than stories. The stories we hide in our closets. I am scared. I am damaged. I am not worthy. And the stories others tell us about who they think we are.

Let me tell you the story of a man called Victor. At the age of six, Victor was taken to a children’s counseling center by his father. At the end of this visit they leave with a story (diagnosis) of Victor’s diminished mental capacity. Victor grew up believing in this story he has been told, and believing the same story, he was treated as a fool by everyone who knew him. Some years later, Victor took an intelligence test which revealed that he had an amazingly high IQ. Now he had a new story to tell himself and others. Victor Serebriakoff was not a fool, but an intelligent, capable human being who incredibly went on to become the president of MENSA, the largest and oldest high IQ society in the world.

The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives.

But here is the thing we should never forget. We are the author of our own stories. For every perceived weakness we possess, we posses huge potential too. We get to choose which story we will tell ourselves – a story that will lift us up or knock us down. I am not denying there are obstacles to overcome in your story, that life will throw you off course time and time again; but you still have power over the stories you tell yourself.

One of the stories I told myself years ago was that I would never get over my obstacles and truly achieve all my dreams, hopes and aspirations. I would never feel happy again. And yet years have gone by, and I can’t say I have done so much towards those dreams but I am still fighting, and there have been moments of happiness, success, peace and joy. I recently heard someone speaking on the topic of suffering and he suggested that instead of saying to ourselves, I am sad, or depressed, or lonely, we could try saying “I am the person with sadness, with grief, with loneliness” These words have the power to change our story to one of possibility and hope that we will not always be the person who is suffering.

What are some of the stories you tell yourself? Do they help or hold you back? Is there some way you could change an element of your story to make a difference to your life? I would really love to hear your thoughts.

Hi, I am Nii Aryee and I choose from henceforth to tell positive stories about myself no matter what I am going through.

TheGhanaianBoy
@ISAVEDHERSOUL

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Feeling Ga (How to lose my non Ga readers)

The Ga People Of Ghana

The Ga People Of Ghana

Because of my Ga jokes and jests on Social Media (most of those jokes are directed at Ga Girls though) my friends have resulted to calling me a tribalist based on my beliefs and my continued jesting about the Ga People Of Ghana. At first, I used to get offended when people inboxed me on Facebook, referring to me as tribalist, but frankly now I can not be bothered, because I know I am not a tribalist in the sense that I do not bring other tribes down. I jest about my own tribe for fun and I have no regrets whatsoever about that. I would not intentionally ridicule my own tribe on Social Media. For what?

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Pornography Destroys!

Personally, I don’t care if you judge me after reading this post. The truth is, I felt like writing on a sensitive social topic and then, the issue of pornography came to mind. What you need to understand is this; that I am a normal, hyperactive boy like you, but there are times when you need to write on sensitive topics, no matter how uncomfortable it looks, so other people will learn from it. Nobody is perfect, we all need Grace.

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Boys, What Is Your Taste In Women? #Funny

I know you are probably wondering what is going on with me and why I chose to write this post? Well some people said, I have lost my funny bone. Truth is, I have not lost my touch. Being funny is not easy but I am trying and I still have so many jokes and jests in store for you my avid readers.

Today, I shall be touching on a certain topic. A man has gotta do what a man has gotta do. So, have you boys ever wondered what kinda girl you want to be with? A lot of us are quick to say we want the godly, good looking, home trained kinda girl while some of us want the bad girl (The Kim Kardasian in nature) Whatever you want, there are basically four types of girls in this world and it is my responsibility to introduce you to them. Whatever!

Guys, I know most of you love football so I will be relating these women to the teams we know in the English Premier League as the “Top Four” teams. Say hello to the Manchester United girl, The Manchester City girl, The Chelsea girl and The Arsenal girl. Rolling… Action!!!

The Manchester United Girl:
The girls in this category are used to having things go their way. They are basically winners at life and have had quite a good upbringing. These girls are often very beautiful and classy. Most of them have had a wonderful dating history and as such expect to date other quality guys. If your girl is a Manchester United fan, chances are that, she expects you to be on top of situations and very competitive. The Manchester United girls do not accept losing as an option which is why they likely won’t date you if you are a “nobody”. Please don’t get me wrong, they can decide to roll with you for a while but when they see that you are not up to par, they bounce. They are maybe not after your money or anything. They are in for the fun and they can still chill with or without your help. If you are a guy with self-esteem and insecurity issues, you might want to consider avoiding these kind of girls and find someone in your “league”. Girls, adey lie?

The Manchester City Girl:
These ones are basically gold diggers. Let’s call a spade a spade. These girls are in it for the money. The thing is they don’t even like to ball on small money, these girls are out for the big time fraud barons, Ministers of state and rich sugar daddies.. Oh so you think, you drive a Camry or a Honda and so you think you can bang one of these Man City Girls? Hahaha…you are  funnier than me. Trips to the United States, Shopping in London and honeymoon in Paris are just some of the necessities of their life. These girls are quite competitive and love to win. They will go any distance to get what they want irrespective of who gets hurt. Basically, they don’t play fair. Boys, if you are dating or attempting to date one of these, you better have a surname that ends with Gates, Mahama, Banda or billions of dollars in your Swiss account somewhere. If they get with you and see you are not delivering results, they would dump you so fast, Usain Bolt will have nothing on you.

The Chelsea Girl:
The “Started from the bottom, now we are here” girls. These girls are mostly ”attachers”. Some time ago, they were nowhere, and then all of a sudden, they came in contact with some old man millionaire and BOOM! Levels change. They are somehow similar to the Man City girl, in that they are money driven but the difference is that, they have got class. The Chelsea type babes are mostly “dirty” but they have been touched by some money and the money somehow “cleaned them up” The truth however remains that, they don’t change their ruffian character and they will break a beer bottle on your head at the slightest provocation. Yes beer, they drink beer. Would I advise you to date a Chelsea girl? Would I advise you to get knocked down by a Long Vehicle?

The Arsenal Girl:
These ones are very beautiful. They possess a sense of style and are graceful in all they do, from their movement to the way they talk. Yes, they have natural swag. But, on the flip side, they can be jokes at times. The Arsenal girls are more concerned with keeping up appearances and what society will think or say about their actions. Most Arsenal girls end up as side chicks because of this behavior. Their boyfriends love them for real and want them to change but they rarely do. I must point out that they are very prudent, they don’t spend anyhow and would most likely remain faithful and true to their guys no matter, his social status..

So there we have it, the top four girl types. The fact still remains that, these same characteristics are typical of the football clubs they represent. Did I make you laugh or smile? If I did, share your thoughts in the comment box below. Thank you for reading..

TheGhanaianBoy
@isavedhersoul

The Prostitute/ Shashee/ Hooker/ Town Helper/ Whore Who Saved The World.

I am still in the International Women’s Day spirit. This past Saturday was International Women’s Day, a day to inspire girls and celebrate women’s achievements and, in many countries, an official holiday. I am not the only one, some Ghanaian television stations have declared March as the Month of The African Woman..

I have always maintained my argument anytime the issue of prostitution and whores (Ghanaian boys call them Shashees) pops up for discussion. I keep saying that the prostitutes of today are no longer the “Old Women” we all used to know. They are with us. Students by day, prostitutes at night. Bills, hostel fees, school fees have to be paid somehow and in this kind of economy we are in, they are using, what they have to get what they want/need.. That is not to say I support what they do but I am not condemning them either..

For some people, prostitution is just standing by the roadside, getting picked up by a flashy car, all for money. That is just as low as life can get for some many Ghanaian girls.
But history, as we know it is full of stories. Stories of prostitutes who used their skills to influence higher powers and society.. And they changed the world..

I am going to focus on just one of them and her name was Rahab.
Rahab The Prostitute:
Welcome to Jericho. Rahab probably came from a poor family with a sick, dying mother and a father who abandoned the family in search of smaller girls.. Lets also imagine, she has 3 younger siblings who were constantly sacked from school for not paying their school fees. Bills have to be paid, and so what does Rahab do?
She stands at street corners and dark places, granting sex favours to clients, all for the money to take care of her family..

But by all accounts, she was good at it too.. Because, by the time, she comes up in the Bible, she had her her own house and made a comfortable income by sleeping with men..

What made her great?
The Israelites were on their way to the Promised Land. They had been living in the desert for over 30 years and then God instructed them to take possession of Jericho. Joshua, the leader of the Israelites, sent out two spies to scout the City of Jericho. The two young Jews did their job and then sought refuge at Rahab’s house. The Bible did not state why they chose to stay there but it was obvious that, the two Jews were scouting the City to know its strengths and weaknesses.

The King of Jericho heard about the two spies and sent out his soldiers to look for them. Rahab hid the two men, and then convinced the soldiers, that the spies were hiding somewhere else..Because of Rahab’s smartness, the spies were able to bring important imformation back to Joshua which helped the Israelites conquer the City of Jericho..

That is right. Believe whatever you want to believe about the Bible but it is right there in the Old Testament, that the course of history was turned by a prostitute with a good heart. She saved the world and was saved from the destruction of Jericho herself..

God can use anybody, anytime, any day. You just have to avail yourself to Him wholeheartedly. It is not right to judge people and please keep that in mind, the next time, you are congratulating yourself for sleeping with a guy without asking for his money. Hypocrites Like Us..

TheGhanaianBoy‬
@isavedhersoul