Time For Sarkodie To Get New Rhymes

SarkodieLast week, I read somewhere that Ghana’s BET Award winner, Sarkodie is going to release an album called “Mary” this year and I am sitting here like “Man, if Sarkodie does not start coming up with some new rap lyrics, then I don’t know. It’s like every time I turn on the radio or hear a Sarkodie song at a random place, it sounds like Sark is recycling his same old rhymes. Continue reading

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Calling Becca An Ashawo? How Convenient!

Becca

Becca

The World Cup is over but one thing which is still lingering is the issue about Becca sleeping with some Ghanaian footballers in camp during the tournament. And of course, the hypocritical ones amongst us (especially the girls) were very quick to call her a slut, an ashawo and all manners of names on social media. Becca has since issued a public statement about the issue, denying the said story and has threatened legal action against the people allegedly smearing her name.

But lets imagine for some seconds that, those allegations were indeed true. What if its true? What if Becca actually slept with those people during the World Cup? Continue reading

How To Become A Musician In Ghana.

Everywhere I go, be it school, church, pub, public place- people are listening to music. Earpieces everywhere. Music is food for the soul and Music is Passion. I totally agree with the previous two thoughts. In Ghana though, the up and coming artistes can equal, the sand at the Labadi Beach. Everyday, new tracks, new links are posted on Facebook walls and pages. New CDs, Albums, Mixtapes.

In Ghana, music is not really commercially sold on the streets. Nobody will buy it. We always want free stuffs. The artistes daily breads’ relies heavily on personal investments (record labels, clothing lines), shows and endorsement deals from Brands <del>(Companies)</del> Sakordie is killing it, D-Black is doing his thing, Efya, Becca, D-Cryme, Samini, FOKN Bois, Bisa Kdei, 4X4, VIP and many more artistes are all lifting high the flag of Ghana worldwide

How to become like any of the above artistes is simple. Follow the steps below and trust me, You will be performing at Ghana Music Awards 2014.

1. Get A Cool Name.
Create a cool name. Instead of calling yourself Rebecca- make it Becca. Jane Awindor is too boring- be crafty (Efya) or maybe you love cartoons so much, so you can do with Captain Planet, Scooby Doo or something like that. Just be creative- Dee Money, D-Black, Joey B and Bisa Kdei (still boring to me), Okyeame Kwame. Errm, by the way, D’Banj’s real name is Dapo Oyebanjo. You get step one? Good!

2. Use Autotune
Seriously, If you don’t have the natural voice to sing, the White Man has developed something called “auto-tuning”. Go to the studio, tell the Beat Maker, “please, I want auto-tune”. He will gladly do it for you and in no time, you will be sounding like T-Pain ( the most shiny example)

3. Get a catchy chorus and repeat certain keywords in the sound throughout- It works!
Use words not found in the English Dictionary. Just talk, say something that goes with the beat. Shout “eh eh eh eh.” “You Say Wetin? “That’s all. “Ayi” “Ayi” Ayi” “efr3 ni mu”- classical example to me, (Criss Waddle’s Song) None sense track, but the chorus was good. “Shake Your Pampanaa for me ooo” Thats all. This step has many examples- I can not mention all- D’Banj- Oliver Twist, Iyanya- Your Waist. Tinny- Anaconda, VIP- Pampanaa etc etc

4.  Use Pidgin
This step is linked heavily to the one above it. Use pidgin. Say something in Pidgin, otherwise, nobody will listen to the song- “She dey wash me like Omo” (Captain Planet- London Bridge.) You see, without this step, you would not be a hit. No dictionary words like I said earlier- Just nonfa. Pure nonfa and your name will be on everybody’s lips.

5. Payola
You should be ready to pay big to get your track on air. If you are a girl, maybe- money really won’t be needed. Just a little something. No money- No star! That is the motto. I have heard of several rumours in the Ghana Music Industry and since, they are just “rumours”, I intend to treat them as such by not mentioning them.

Don’t mind those Mentor, Vodafone Icons, X-Factor People. What do they know about music?? I have given you all the steps you need. And the producers who produce those “things” called music- I have just one question for them- How does it feel listening to someone saying nonfa, gibberish and a mix of nonsensical shoutings in your studios? Don’t you ever get bored or something?

I leave you now with the song, I have been playing all day. Its D Black- Change Your Life.