The advantages of being an Ashawo in Accra

Ashawo.png
Before you start dissing or musing those inappropriate words at me, maybe you should read this to the end and then let the insults fly afterwards.

For those of you who do not already know, or are still pretending, an ashawo is a prostitute or a lady of the night. We already know the disadvantages of being a prostitute: HIV, STDs, rape and the fact that society frowns on it so I wont even go there.

Every night, they come out of hiding, onto the streets of Accra in search for a man who needs their services in exchange for money. They are everywhere in Accra standing by roadsides, junctions, roundabouts whistling for cars to stop and pick them up.

Ghanaian men. Smh. Rich men. You need the money. You give them what they want, they give you what you also want, and everyone goes home happy.

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HIV/AIDS Rant

A while ago, I saw someone write something to the effect that, you can call him a stereotype, a coward or whatever but if his friend gets HIV, he won’t hang out with him, anymore. In his words; “he should die alone”. Then another one also asked why we keep spending money to provide drugs to HIV/AIDS patients since its an incurable disease. In his words too; “we are tired of spending the taxpayers’ money on them”.

When you read thoughts like this on the worldwide web, you need a lot of discipline to keep your cool.  But now, thinking about those two thoughts expressed openly about HIV/AIDS on social media, I am not going to keep my cool anymore, I am going crazy thinking about what they said.

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Boys, What Is Your Taste In Women? #Funny

I know you are probably wondering what is going on with me and why I chose to write this post? Well some people said, I have lost my funny bone. Truth is, I have not lost my touch. Being funny is not easy but I am trying and I still have so many jokes and jests in store for you my avid readers.

Today, I shall be touching on a certain topic. A man has gotta do what a man has gotta do. So, have you boys ever wondered what kinda girl you want to be with? A lot of us are quick to say we want the godly, good looking, home trained kinda girl while some of us want the bad girl (The Kim Kardasian in nature) Whatever you want, there are basically four types of girls in this world and it is my responsibility to introduce you to them. Whatever!

Guys, I know most of you love football so I will be relating these women to the teams we know in the English Premier League as the “Top Four” teams. Say hello to the Manchester United girl, The Manchester City girl, The Chelsea girl and The Arsenal girl. Rolling… Action!!!

The Manchester United Girl:
The girls in this category are used to having things go their way. They are basically winners at life and have had quite a good upbringing. These girls are often very beautiful and classy. Most of them have had a wonderful dating history and as such expect to date other quality guys. If your girl is a Manchester United fan, chances are that, she expects you to be on top of situations and very competitive. The Manchester United girls do not accept losing as an option which is why they likely won’t date you if you are a “nobody”. Please don’t get me wrong, they can decide to roll with you for a while but when they see that you are not up to par, they bounce. They are maybe not after your money or anything. They are in for the fun and they can still chill with or without your help. If you are a guy with self-esteem and insecurity issues, you might want to consider avoiding these kind of girls and find someone in your “league”. Girls, adey lie?

The Manchester City Girl:
These ones are basically gold diggers. Let’s call a spade a spade. These girls are in it for the money. The thing is they don’t even like to ball on small money, these girls are out for the big time fraud barons, Ministers of state and rich sugar daddies.. Oh so you think, you drive a Camry or a Honda and so you think you can bang one of these Man City Girls? Hahaha…you are  funnier than me. Trips to the United States, Shopping in London and honeymoon in Paris are just some of the necessities of their life. These girls are quite competitive and love to win. They will go any distance to get what they want irrespective of who gets hurt. Basically, they don’t play fair. Boys, if you are dating or attempting to date one of these, you better have a surname that ends with Gates, Mahama, Banda or billions of dollars in your Swiss account somewhere. If they get with you and see you are not delivering results, they would dump you so fast, Usain Bolt will have nothing on you.

The Chelsea Girl:
The “Started from the bottom, now we are here” girls. These girls are mostly ”attachers”. Some time ago, they were nowhere, and then all of a sudden, they came in contact with some old man millionaire and BOOM! Levels change. They are somehow similar to the Man City girl, in that they are money driven but the difference is that, they have got class. The Chelsea type babes are mostly “dirty” but they have been touched by some money and the money somehow “cleaned them up” The truth however remains that, they don’t change their ruffian character and they will break a beer bottle on your head at the slightest provocation. Yes beer, they drink beer. Would I advise you to date a Chelsea girl? Would I advise you to get knocked down by a Long Vehicle?

The Arsenal Girl:
These ones are very beautiful. They possess a sense of style and are graceful in all they do, from their movement to the way they talk. Yes, they have natural swag. But, on the flip side, they can be jokes at times. The Arsenal girls are more concerned with keeping up appearances and what society will think or say about their actions. Most Arsenal girls end up as side chicks because of this behavior. Their boyfriends love them for real and want them to change but they rarely do. I must point out that they are very prudent, they don’t spend anyhow and would most likely remain faithful and true to their guys no matter, his social status..

So there we have it, the top four girl types. The fact still remains that, these same characteristics are typical of the football clubs they represent. Did I make you laugh or smile? If I did, share your thoughts in the comment box below. Thank you for reading..

TheGhanaianBoy
@isavedhersoul

Yvonne Nelson’s Cocoa Butter And Other Musings

Whats up with everyone?
In 2013, I saw a tweet where Yvonne Nelson threatened to block someone for teasing her about the Cocoa butter bleaching saga and the culprit just replied with: “Go and get more mortar and cement for this block” Lmfao! That was a deep, funny reply.. Yvonne Nelson promptly countered it with “YOUR ASS IS BLOCKED!! and I am sure the dude is still resting in her twitter block list till date.

There was also a tweet where a girl wrote “Who else thinks @JamesBlunt voice sucks?” James Blunt himself replied with “I knew my voice sucked until it made me millions of dollars” Another deep reply to shut the girl up.

Pokello (from Big Brother Africa and girlfriend of Elikem) recently wrote a long speech supposedly directed at a certain Instagram user who kept commenting under Pokello’s photos with her sex tape issue.. Pokello really gave it to her. Lord Forgive me, if I try to repeat some of the explicit words Pokello used on the girl.. PG 13+ is advised..

Also, one of the P-Square brothers tweeted something about welcoming someone on bored. The correct spelling should have been board. Someone else tweeted in response, “Rich but lacks education”. The P-Square twin promptly blocked him.

There are countless examples of Celebrity and Fan moments of madness. The WanLov Da Kubolor Facebook photo captions which always attract insults and curses upon his head, Ghanaian twitter users constantly teasing underground and mainstream artistes and the way we laugh at the English of The Black Players during pre and post match conferences.  The list is endless but why do some people consistently seem to look for ways to knock down celebrities? It really baffles me.

Why do people always want to look for ways to mock and tease celebrities? Those people wear the best clothes, walk on red carpets, get interviewed on regular basis, win industry awards, sell their talent for large amounts of money, perform to sold out crowds, spend weekends in the choicest locations and hotels worldwide, cover magazine and spreads, and you still want to laugh at them for committing simple grammatical errors or because their English is not that great?

I thought the same with the Yvonne Nelson tweet. Yvonne Nelson may not be the most eloquent actress on our television screens, and lets just assume, she has bleached her skin with Cocoa Butter but she  has starred in so many top notch movies, won a handful of Movie Industry Awards, has a Yvonne Nelson Glaucoma Foundation and even 3 year old kids recognize her on our television screens. We mock her, and then when we are done, we buy ‘Princess Tyra” movie disc and watch in the comfort of our homes, reinforcing the success of her brand and helping to make her even richer. Who is the bigger loser?

I am not talking about good natured teasing and little sarcasm. Those are perfectly normal and should even be expected. If you are a celebrity and no one is poking fun at you, that means you are not yet visible, but the aggression, unnecessary mockery and insults, threats and so on…

Well, that one in my opinion, is more reflective of the speaker than the one spoken of. I just felt like putting that out there.

The next topic up for discussion is Bishop TD Jakes, Tyler Perry, the million dollars and the anointing. I recently read a news article about Tyler Perry met Bishop TD Jakes, gave him a 1 million dollar donation and then, Tyler Perry requested to to lay his lands on him ( Bishop TD Jakes). Anyway in the comments section, some people were arguing about whether it was proper or not and so on and so forth and some people made comments to the effect that “Well, I am an average person, would TD Jakes let me lay hands on him? I bet he would not, Tyler Perry donated $1 million dollars and so TD Jakes let him, it was purely mercenary”

I want to share my opinion on this:
Tyler Perry might have gotten that access because of his position, but that does not make TD Jakes mercenary. It is very courteous that,  if you are meeting someone that you admire or seek access to, you put together a gift (not a bribe please) to help make the right impression. A lot of Companies send gift cards, hampers etc etc to their cherished customers and clients every now and then. So what is the big deal?

My point is, any way you choose to look at it, it is life – these days, access is created based on what you carry everywhere. Bill Gates can make a request of any government in the world and see it granted, simply because of the immense weight and wealth he carries. Even as we are, there are certain people who have more access in our lives than others, simply because of their position on our personal scale.

Was TD Jakes so overwhelmed by the $1 million dollars cheque that he was willing to let Tyler Perry do anything he felt like? I do not think so. But did Tyler Perry’s gift create an opportunity or a chance for him to do something out of the ordinary? I believe so deeply.

I do not wish to get close enough to TD Jakes to lay hands on him, but I do intend to try and hone my gift giving skills to the extent that when I need to walk into certain circles or have to get something done, I will be assured that those doors of access will be opened to me. Simple and short!

Thank you very much for reading. Please  remember this post, the next time, you go teasing, insulting or mocking a celebrity. Thank you so much for reading and please share your comments below.

TheGhanaianBoy
@isavedhersoul

New Year And Cutting Cancerous Friendships

In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.”– Albert Camus

2014. 2014 is here and whether we like it or yes, another year has come. This year, I resolved not to write any new year resolutions because, after all, the truth is we never really accomplish all the resolutions we write down. We don’t follow it to  the end. The resolutions about losing weight, chasing dreams, stop following and spending on women, stop chasing men etc etc are not followed through to the latter. So why bother? Why waste precious time to sit down, scribble those rules which later become like a personal prison where a brother wants to break free from? Oh well, I guess its just a yearly ritual..

I have been somehow quiet of late. A state of mind between shutting up and being the talkative. A friend whispered into my ears recently to stop “Kim Kardasianing” on Facebook (Comedy) and talk about the real social issues- his words though, not mine.

I have been quiet, just observing and I feel like some sort of negativity is creeping into me. It is gradually eating me up and weighing me down. Its source is from a few people in my life who always complain about their lives.  I am not talking about the occasional venting of frustrations. We all need to release our feelings of disappointments sometimes and we all experience ups and downs.  We all experience times of imbalance in relationships and we definitely have to talk to the people we love and trust for advice, moral support and prayers.

The negativity, i am talking about here is the type that blames everyone else or  their problems but themselves. When you try to show them alternative ways of doing things- they just brush you off and they carry on down the road of blaming everyone else.  Should you continue to open yourself up to them and listen to them, they mistake you for a dumping ground.  They take away your energy and joy.

Lately, I feel like all the ways I have to make myself happy (meditation, music, movies) are not helping me overcome the negativity. Anytime, I leave their presence, I feel drained of strength. They kill my vibe and my enthusiasm.. “They kill our confidence before the songs finish. But we was born winners” That is the best way to describe such friends..

So here is what I have done this year?  I have cut ties with such negative people. It is my first New Year resolution. I have realized, I need to politely eject myself from relationships that are not basically uplifting and supportive before I start to view life as a dark shadow and infect others with that bad outlook.

If you have a cancer growing on your body, you cut it off before the cancer spreads and destroys other parts of your body.  I think that sometimes you need to do the same with bad relationships before they contaminate your life, before you turn into someone you don’t want to be.
Let them talk. Say whatever they like. At the end of the day, it comes down to only one person. You! You are your biggest fan! The energy of the people in your life can have a serious effect on you, and it is not easy to dispel, the negative vibes and people. I feel happier 8 or 9 days after taking this bold decision.

You are the Company, you keep. Show me your friend and I will tell, your character. Remember when people are doing their worst to you, God is doing the great work within you. Don’t worry. Be Happy..

Thank you for reading and don’t keep your thoughts in your head. Share them below in the comment box.
@isavedhersoul on twitter. God Bless Us All..

H For Haters: Delusional People

Delusional people (especially social media freaks) always want to talk about Haters. Delusion is living in a make believe fantasy world that you have created for yourself. It is a world where you are in total control, where you feel comfortable, where no one can judge you and if they do judge you, they aren’t telling you the truth. they are HATING 😦

I see people online all the time, shouting to their haters and shouting out to the people that don’t see them SHINE. You are not lying to me, Facebook or to the world. You are lying to yourself. These wannabe haters you are making noise about don’t exist, because in reality they see you for the real type of person you are, the biggest hater YOU have is YOURSELF.

IF you look in the mirror everyday and you think you see perfectness, you are delusional, and that is what wannabes do. They hate on themselves and spread hate to other people because, they take only what they want to hear in life. “The worst of all frauds is too cheat oneself”.

Let me be clear, nobody is perfect but the truth is, there are people on this planet who are doing better than you. I don’t care who you think you are, someone is more experienced, more intelligent, more spiritual, richer, stronger and faster than you and if you are trying to do better for yourself as a person, you will have to listen, observe the better person and learn. Stop whining and complaining.

What you want to hear is not what you always need to hear. What you need to hear is the truth. A harsh truth is never HATE. Habits can be broken and we can free ourselves from the “HATE” Prison we have built around ourselves. Nobody is hating on you. So wannabes, you can continue to pretend in your wannabe world or you can deal with reality. Some of you may even talk trash about everything you just read. I am okay if you do because the reality is “People cannot change the truth but “the truth can change people.

Good Evening. Its @isavedhersoul on twitter. Follow 😀