8th Nov, 199*. Out of a womb. Emergency Room. The woman that I was inside, carries me and looks me in the eyes. A child born into the world with purity. A mother’s love and a father’s insecurity. He was a child who dreamt of playing in the skies. Instead, he became everything different. He travels by feet in small steps and moves, moves so his legs may learn to take a leap. Because if he can, perhaps his limbs will turn into wings and let him fly. That boy wants to jump and touch the sky. But he can only dream.
I am 21 years old today. Another year adding up to my ever-growing life count. Twenty one years old includes being almost broke and having to deal with arrogant souls. It is the age of meeting new friends, replacing the bad ones, going into and coming out of bad relationships and moving forward. But then a lot of beautiful things also happened throughout the year – like learning new skills, conquering milestones, and learning how to react maturely to silly situations.
God has been so good to me and I must say the good things outweigh the bad. And because the human mind can forget things, I have listed the top things I have learn’t prior to age 21.
God is real and over the years, I have felt His Power and heard His Voice. Call me insane but there will always be trials and doubts, but if God leads us, the trials and temptations will not break us and the doubts will fade.
2. Good Friends
When troubles come, a good friend they say is worth more than a million dollars. Know your true friends and never let them go but then of course, delete the fake friends- they are nothing but enemies of progress. They stunt your growth and steal your success.
3. Apologize/ Apologies
I have learnt that saying ” I am sorry” and meaning it covers all wrongs. Don’t drag issues. Just apologize even when you are the victim. Many wars have been fought because it was too hard to say “I am sorry”. When wrong or even wronged- please apologize
4. Shutting Up
You can not hear if you are always too busy speaking. Listen and learn. It is a golden lesson. Trust me, when you listen, you will surprised at the ideas you can get from the other party’s speech.
Be polite and courteous to everyone. It does not cost nothing to use the word “Please” or “Thank You” Talk with people with respect and earn their respect.
6. Let Go
He who lives, lives to fight another day. All your battles must not be won on one day. Take a step back and change your strategy. That is why, when you hurt me- I don’t react immediately. My reaction may even take years but its worth the wait. Don’t always rush to defeat the enemy. Revenge is sweetest when it waits.
I have met people who do not share. I don’t know where they are from, but that is a very bad attitude. Success is best enjoyed with successful people. The stage is big enough for more than one person. Don’t act all so knowledgeable, wise, strong etc etc. It is just pure deception to think you have it all. No! You don’t!
8: Role Models/ Mentors
They are very important. Find someone you really want to end up like. Someone who you admire for their achievements, character. Learn from them. You will become a better person that way. And when you become a role model yourself, Pass on what you know to others. Don’t be selfish.
Sometimes its actually good to cry. Let the pain out. Mourn the people you lose to death. Don’t keep the pain inside. It is a slow poison. Sometimes when I want to cry, I just cry. Its normal and I heal faster.
Laughter. My thing. I laugh. I laugh even at myself. I laugh with my friends. I tease. I prank. I say nonfa things all the time. Yes. Life is fun, you don’t have to frown. Smile. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
11. As much as we seek the good in people, we also choose ones with the most tolerable evil. Because no matter how many the good qualities are, negativity bias persists (that is the tendency of the mind to retain more bad memories over the good ones).
12. Learn hard
Knowledge is in people. Knowledge is in books. Learn hard. Learn and become an intellect, so that when you open your mouth to speak, people will marvel. Make it a personal goal to learn something new everyday. Read more books
Celebrate life with your friends and family. Let people never doubt you. Celebrate your accomplishments, awards and achievements. They are stepping stones for greater successes. Thank God for them.
You will never have it easy. No person can serve two masters at the same time. It is either your books now and parties later, or parties now and your books later. We know ourselves. We don’t have to pretend. The only way to serve two masters is to serve them in shifts or cycles.
Don’t hold grudges against people, but please don’t let a Snake back into your life. Forgive- True! but don’t make the same mistake twice. If someone does not have your best interests, just say hello but you can not come into my house.
The truth is better than lies. But sometimes though, you have to lie (important)- not everyone deserves to know the truth about you and that is the TRUTH! People talk too much, so just SHUT THEM UP! but LIES though are like fixing a leaking pipe with cello tape, you have to keep plastering and plastering till the whole pipe bursts, so as much as possible, PLEASE BE TRUTHFUL! TRUTH SETS YOU FREE!
I have a passion. Yes! and I know you do too. Work at your passion. Passion is unshakable. Let nobody kill your VIM, because when the vim is gone, you are nothing. Let them talk, say whatever they like, criticize both positively and negatively but please, don’t let them kill your vibe.
After all the is said and done, after all the applause and insults- It comes down to one human being. Me. One human being repping my team and that is me. Take care of you spiritually, mentally, physically.
To be a good leader, you have to learn how to follow. When placed under somebody, be the best you can be and learn to respect authority. No excuses.
Ask for help when you need it. Don’t be proud. Jesus had help carrying his cross, on his way to Calvary. Let yourself be used by the right people. They’ll pull you up with them as they climb.
Try not to envy other people. They are as human as you are who works hard enough and gets lonely.
As much as we think we were destroyed by our first love, know that young and raw as we were, we had also unconsciously torched them.
No matter what effort you give into the relationship, you will never be good enough for a partner who is not ready. Keep that in mind.
As funny as it may sound, I forgive but I never, ever forget. Yes. Never forget those you said you were just a joker and you would amount to nothing. You use your talents, your dreams, inspiration to climb that mountain in THEIR FACES! When you get to the top- invite them to SHARE YOUR VICTORY but never ever forget WHO THEY REALLY ARE!
25. Try not to let your parents witness your heartbreaks and sad moments. It breaks their hearts more. Always.
You become more responsible when you also learn to blame yourself.