Feeling Ga (How to lose my non Ga readers)

The Ga People Of Ghana

The Ga People Of Ghana

Because of my Ga jokes and jests on Social Media (most of those jokes are directed at Ga Girls though) my friends have resulted to calling me a tribalist based on my beliefs and my continued jesting about the Ga People Of Ghana. At first, I used to get offended when people inboxed me on Facebook, referring to me as tribalist, but frankly now I can not be bothered, because I know I am not a tribalist in the sense that I do not bring other tribes down. I jest about my own tribe for fun and I have no regrets whatsoever about that. I would not intentionally ridicule my own tribe on Social Media. For what?

Continue reading

Diary Of A Ghanaian Househelp: E04 I AM INNOCENT!!

Dear Diary,
Today is Tuesday, 15th April and I have missed you so much. I know you are wondering why we have not had a chat in a while. Yes, I know, it has been exactly 50 days since I last made an entry into you. Hmmmm, it’s not my doing, not at all.

Continue reading

Yvonne Nelson’s Cocoa Butter And Other Musings

Whats up with everyone?
In 2013, I saw a tweet where Yvonne Nelson threatened to block someone for teasing her about the Cocoa butter bleaching saga and the culprit just replied with: “Go and get more mortar and cement for this block” Lmfao! That was a deep, funny reply.. Yvonne Nelson promptly countered it with “YOUR ASS IS BLOCKED!! and I am sure the dude is still resting in her twitter block list till date.

There was also a tweet where a girl wrote “Who else thinks @JamesBlunt voice sucks?” James Blunt himself replied with “I knew my voice sucked until it made me millions of dollars” Another deep reply to shut the girl up.

Pokello (from Big Brother Africa and girlfriend of Elikem) recently wrote a long speech supposedly directed at a certain Instagram user who kept commenting under Pokello’s photos with her sex tape issue.. Pokello really gave it to her. Lord Forgive me, if I try to repeat some of the explicit words Pokello used on the girl.. PG 13+ is advised..

Also, one of the P-Square brothers tweeted something about welcoming someone on bored. The correct spelling should have been board. Someone else tweeted in response, “Rich but lacks education”. The P-Square twin promptly blocked him.

There are countless examples of Celebrity and Fan moments of madness. The WanLov Da Kubolor Facebook photo captions which always attract insults and curses upon his head, Ghanaian twitter users constantly teasing underground and mainstream artistes and the way we laugh at the English of The Black Players during pre and post match conferences.  The list is endless but why do some people consistently seem to look for ways to knock down celebrities? It really baffles me.

Why do people always want to look for ways to mock and tease celebrities? Those people wear the best clothes, walk on red carpets, get interviewed on regular basis, win industry awards, sell their talent for large amounts of money, perform to sold out crowds, spend weekends in the choicest locations and hotels worldwide, cover magazine and spreads, and you still want to laugh at them for committing simple grammatical errors or because their English is not that great?

I thought the same with the Yvonne Nelson tweet. Yvonne Nelson may not be the most eloquent actress on our television screens, and lets just assume, she has bleached her skin with Cocoa Butter but she  has starred in so many top notch movies, won a handful of Movie Industry Awards, has a Yvonne Nelson Glaucoma Foundation and even 3 year old kids recognize her on our television screens. We mock her, and then when we are done, we buy ‘Princess Tyra” movie disc and watch in the comfort of our homes, reinforcing the success of her brand and helping to make her even richer. Who is the bigger loser?

I am not talking about good natured teasing and little sarcasm. Those are perfectly normal and should even be expected. If you are a celebrity and no one is poking fun at you, that means you are not yet visible, but the aggression, unnecessary mockery and insults, threats and so on…

Well, that one in my opinion, is more reflective of the speaker than the one spoken of. I just felt like putting that out there.

The next topic up for discussion is Bishop TD Jakes, Tyler Perry, the million dollars and the anointing. I recently read a news article about Tyler Perry met Bishop TD Jakes, gave him a 1 million dollar donation and then, Tyler Perry requested to to lay his lands on him ( Bishop TD Jakes). Anyway in the comments section, some people were arguing about whether it was proper or not and so on and so forth and some people made comments to the effect that “Well, I am an average person, would TD Jakes let me lay hands on him? I bet he would not, Tyler Perry donated $1 million dollars and so TD Jakes let him, it was purely mercenary”

I want to share my opinion on this:
Tyler Perry might have gotten that access because of his position, but that does not make TD Jakes mercenary. It is very courteous that,  if you are meeting someone that you admire or seek access to, you put together a gift (not a bribe please) to help make the right impression. A lot of Companies send gift cards, hampers etc etc to their cherished customers and clients every now and then. So what is the big deal?

My point is, any way you choose to look at it, it is life – these days, access is created based on what you carry everywhere. Bill Gates can make a request of any government in the world and see it granted, simply because of the immense weight and wealth he carries. Even as we are, there are certain people who have more access in our lives than others, simply because of their position on our personal scale.

Was TD Jakes so overwhelmed by the $1 million dollars cheque that he was willing to let Tyler Perry do anything he felt like? I do not think so. But did Tyler Perry’s gift create an opportunity or a chance for him to do something out of the ordinary? I believe so deeply.

I do not wish to get close enough to TD Jakes to lay hands on him, but I do intend to try and hone my gift giving skills to the extent that when I need to walk into certain circles or have to get something done, I will be assured that those doors of access will be opened to me. Simple and short!

Thank you very much for reading. Please  remember this post, the next time, you go teasing, insulting or mocking a celebrity. Thank you so much for reading and please share your comments below.

TheGhanaianBoy
@isavedhersoul

Stop Him! Mad Man! The State Of Mental Health In Ghana. #A2013Post

Image

Today, something very interesting happened on my way back home from town. You know in Ghana today, the mental institutions are filled to capacity with “people” and so therefore, there is no space to house more and the Government has not yet done anything about the plight of the “Crazies.” (Actually, we have just 2 mental institutions in Accra for a population of over 4 million people in the Nation’s Capital). What are the politicians we voted in power doing about Mental Health? I wonder guys..

Pathetic? Yes, I know right and so therefore, we have lunatics or mentally-challenged people roaming the streets of Accra. They bath on the highways, walk around stark naked, cross the roads indiscriminately, attack people on sidewalks and steal food from the food vendors. They can be found almost under any flyover or overheads in Accra (So much for Tourism Promotion?)

Yes. So today, I was walking and as usual, I came across a “mad man” walking in the opposite direction towards me. My inner self had this sorta prompting and so I crossed the street to the other side. There was a woman carrying bags walking behind me before I crossed the street, I did not know this until I had actually crossed. The “mad man” was talking to himself and throwing his hands about in the air. On getting close to the woman, he pressed her boobs.

Like Seriously, I was spell-bounded, shocked- any word in the dictionary which is synonymous to surprise could be used to describe that moment. A supposedly “mad person” knows where the soft spots of a woman is. Really? Seriously?

The victim of this ungodly act dropped her bags immediately and she started hurling insults at the “mad man” and all the “mad man” could do was to make faces and do “Bronx cheers” at her.

I watched closely and observed everything and a lot of questions were popping up in my head very quickly. “What if He slapped her?” “What if he was holding a sharp object like a knife?” “What if he forcibly grabbed the woman and tried to do something silly?” “What if this happened at night?” The “What Ifs” were many. I have actually heard of a sad story where the “mad man” gave a heavy unprovoked slap to a man walking by. The slap was so heavy, the victim lost some teeth.

Its very dangerous to have these characters roaming the streets of Accra and I am hoping the Authorities step up and do something about this menace. It may be just a fondle, but you never know what it will be the next time?” and my only advice to my readers, is this:
If you are ever walking, and you meet this “kinda people”. Just cross the street to the other side. It is for your own safety. Don’t try walking by them. They can do you a lot of harm.  Its very important!

Please don’t keep your thoughts in your head, share them in the comment box below.

TheGhanaianBoy
@isavedhersoul

Why Do Some Ghanaian Girls Find It Fun To Be Shashees/ Hoes/ Whores/ Prostitutes?

Whats up everyone? I am back again. I am really starting to think that,  some Ghanaian girls have the ability of not having the ability to feel shame about what they do. In short, they are shameless.

Let me tell you a story:
Well, there were two girls living in the same community with me. Lets call them Akosua and Akweley for purposes of this writing but those are not their real names though.. I had never spoken to them before, but anytime I was walking with a friend, who had come into close contact with them. My friend would mutter under his breath, very abusive words against those girls. I heard, they were the hood whores, who offered sexual favors to men for money.

In Dec 2013,  one of them,  Akosua moved from the hood because her whore mongering could no longer pay for her rented single room, and she had been caught several times with different men (married men were no exception) and got involved in several street fights with partners of her clients.. All these factors booted her out from the neighborhood..

Recently, an issue took place in the neighborhood with Akweley. I was walking, minding my business and then, this gorilla (Lord Forgive Me) with no job, and who still lives with his mother,  started wolf- whistling for Akweley to stop.  She did not stop and then the dude started dissing her with a lot of hurtful words associated with sex..

I saw the whole incident, and then I took a detour and headed in the direction, Akweley was taking. That was the first time, I was going to talk to her but I had to. She was surprised at me walking up to her, because she probably heard i don’t talk to trash Ghanaian girls like her.. (Pardon Me) She attempted to wash the guilt and shame of what she does, but telling me she had a child at age 19, and there was no stable man in her life to take care of her. She was also embarrassed to be living with her mother at age 22,  who is really struggling to help her take care of her son..

It was so disheartening and if you looked up the words: shame and disgrace, her name should be have been a synonym..

But what I don’t get is why some Ghanaian girls think, its funny, to be in such an embarrassing position, where they are only thought of and used as a piece of garbage. Many Ghanaian men want nothing else to do with Ghanaian girls than to fuck them and that’s it.
Many Ghanaian girls paint that picture of being sexual objects to satisfy a man’s pleasure, and they accept such mentality about themselves, and then try to laugh and giggle their way through,  such very ignorant things they do on a daily basis, and then they get laughed at on Social Media, with their nude pictures and sex tapes all over the internet.. But unfortunately, they don’t see it this way.. It is very, very sad and pathetic..

TheGhanaianBoy
@isavedhersoul

The Prostitute/ Shashee/ Hooker/ Town Helper/ Whore Who Saved The World.

I am still in the International Women’s Day spirit. This past Saturday was International Women’s Day, a day to inspire girls and celebrate women’s achievements and, in many countries, an official holiday. I am not the only one, some Ghanaian television stations have declared March as the Month of The African Woman..

I have always maintained my argument anytime the issue of prostitution and whores (Ghanaian boys call them Shashees) pops up for discussion. I keep saying that the prostitutes of today are no longer the “Old Women” we all used to know. They are with us. Students by day, prostitutes at night. Bills, hostel fees, school fees have to be paid somehow and in this kind of economy we are in, they are using, what they have to get what they want/need.. That is not to say I support what they do but I am not condemning them either..

For some people, prostitution is just standing by the roadside, getting picked up by a flashy car, all for money. That is just as low as life can get for some many Ghanaian girls.
But history, as we know it is full of stories. Stories of prostitutes who used their skills to influence higher powers and society.. And they changed the world..

I am going to focus on just one of them and her name was Rahab.
Rahab The Prostitute:
Welcome to Jericho. Rahab probably came from a poor family with a sick, dying mother and a father who abandoned the family in search of smaller girls.. Lets also imagine, she has 3 younger siblings who were constantly sacked from school for not paying their school fees. Bills have to be paid, and so what does Rahab do?
She stands at street corners and dark places, granting sex favours to clients, all for the money to take care of her family..

But by all accounts, she was good at it too.. Because, by the time, she comes up in the Bible, she had her her own house and made a comfortable income by sleeping with men..

What made her great?
The Israelites were on their way to the Promised Land. They had been living in the desert for over 30 years and then God instructed them to take possession of Jericho. Joshua, the leader of the Israelites, sent out two spies to scout the City of Jericho. The two young Jews did their job and then sought refuge at Rahab’s house. The Bible did not state why they chose to stay there but it was obvious that, the two Jews were scouting the City to know its strengths and weaknesses.

The King of Jericho heard about the two spies and sent out his soldiers to look for them. Rahab hid the two men, and then convinced the soldiers, that the spies were hiding somewhere else..Because of Rahab’s smartness, the spies were able to bring important imformation back to Joshua which helped the Israelites conquer the City of Jericho..

That is right. Believe whatever you want to believe about the Bible but it is right there in the Old Testament, that the course of history was turned by a prostitute with a good heart. She saved the world and was saved from the destruction of Jericho herself..

God can use anybody, anytime, any day. You just have to avail yourself to Him wholeheartedly. It is not right to judge people and please keep that in mind, the next time, you are congratulating yourself for sleeping with a guy without asking for his money. Hypocrites Like Us..

TheGhanaianBoy‬
@isavedhersoul

Ghana At 57. The Journey So Far and a #SpokenWord Entitled Frustrations.

ImageOn 6th day of March, 1957, Ghana, my motherland was born. The independence of Ghana was declared by the Osagyefo Dr. Kwame Nkrumah after a hard fought battle from The British Colonial Rule . On that day, the Ghana National Anthem was played for the first time and it was such a joyous occasion for all Ghanaians. I have heard the Independence tape severally and seen it a couple of times on TV, and the atmosphere was one of togetherness and love.

Dr. Kwame Nkrumah was hell burnt of proving to the White Man that, The Black Man was capable of managing his own affairs and he did prove it as the first president of Ghana, before he passed away. He built 200 State Owned Enterprises, the Akosombo Hydro Electric Dam which until recently was the only source of Electricity in Ghana, The Tema Motorway, Universities, just to mention a few of his achievements and Ghana back then, was described as The Gate Way To Africa.

Fast Forward, 57 years later and where are we as a people? We have had Military Regimes intermittently up until 1992 when the 1992 Constitution came in being and Ghana chartered a course towards Democracy. Where we are as a people now, is not where The Osagyefo envisaged Ghana to be in 57 years. Malaysia had independence, just about the same time as Ghana but Malaysia in 50+ years has become an Asian Tiger. A powerhouse. Where did we go wrong as a people??

Bad Economic Management over the years, Foreign Imposed Policies and over dependence on foreign aid, huge trade deficits, the lack of Visionary Leadership and  Corruption among top public officials are some of the major reasons to blame for our Problems. The Osagyefo maybe turning in his grave and weeping. This is not the Ghana, he envisaged in 57 years. But it is well. The Current Administration (led by John Dramani Mahama) is promising a change of direction like all the previous administrations. For once, we need clear cut plans, ideas and policies to propel this country Ghana to The Promised Land. Mahama says he is the Moses, only time will tell whether he truly is or otherwise.

The Constant Power Outages, the almost non- existent water supply, the bad roads, corruption, bad economic management, the drastic depreciation of the Ghanaian Cedi to other international currencies. huge housing deficits, high bank interest rates are Ghana at 57 problems. So I wrote a #SpokenWord which I will hopefully record with the right instrumentals later, I entitled it “Frustrations” and here it goes.:

Frustrations:
I don’t call this a poem. Its #SpokenWord. I call it “Frustrations” and its Dedicated To John Dramani Mahama.. 🙂

This economy is full of frustration.
Spreading very fast over our desperate nation.
Ghanaians tuning in to Radio Stations.
Where is the fat salary? What is my motivation?

The government may be lying. Giving misinformation.
And the MPs say nothing. They are supposed to be our representation.
it pisses me off. Call that my irritation.
We need to take to the streets. Hold demonstrations.

To vent our anger. Our everyday frustrations.
Mahama, please try and remove all the complications.
Pave the way, make it smooth for us- Determination!
Provide us our basic needs- Self actualization!

Everybody now, is talking about free education..
Really, It is a just a waste of public attention..
I honestly believe, that requires a lot of preparation.
Where is Ghana heading? What  is our future destination?

Whats happeneing to our denomination?
The cedi is losing its value- Depreciation!
I am sick of all the speeches and presentations
Most are them are untrue- pure exaggerations.

Pastors preaching to their congregation.
Jesus is coming soon. We all need salvation..
In this country full of corruption..
Repent! Repent! A brother is reading Revelations.

Getting fed up of this situation.
Light Off. Light On. Power interruptions.
ECG have a funny way of showing their affection
No water supply? I get the deep connection..

What we need is real transformation
25 million Ghanaians. A believing population..
We are not loooking for perfection.
We are hoping for economic redemption.
I dream of a better Ghana- Beautiful Illustrations!

Nii Aryee
March 5, 2014..

Those are some of my thoughts about Ghana @ 57. I hope things get better soon, so that on Ghana @ 58. I will have many positive things to write about. Long Live Ghana! Happy Birthday Ghana!! Long Live The Legacy Of The Osagyefo!!

Below are some random pictures related to Ghana. Thank you for reading. God Bless Us All.. Its @isavedhersoul on twitter..

ImageImageImage

ImageImage

The Party

I still feel guilty about what happened that night. I will feel guilty, every single day, for the rest of my life and so I will try and put it into writing as vividly as possible to clear my head over it, but I know that is not going to be possible.
Hi, I am Kwaku and the following events actually took place somewhere:

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever set my eyes on. She had it all.. The hips, the boobs and her smile was wonderful. I had always orgled about her anytime we were at lectures and now here am I staring at her from the other room at the Level 400s Graduation Party. I have been day and night dreaming about her right from Level 100. That a total of 8 semesters, 4 years and tonight was the night. The night to finally let the fear go away and approach her.. and maybe if my luck shone, I could get her to warm my bed later tonight..

From where I was standing and observing, I could sense she was feeling extremely uncomfortable at this party. She probably had not been exposed to so many people drinking alcohol, smoking weed, swimming half nude and partying the night away. Her friends called her ‘Virgin Mary” behind her back. Maybe that was the real reason, I was so attracted to her: her freshness, her naivety at certain pleasurable things of life.. Still standing and watching as Naomi approached Angela. Naomi could also tell “Virgin Mary” was uncomfortable at this party..

Their body language gave their conversation away. I guess Naomi was telling Angela to relax, have fun and make new friends and Angela was probably asking why Naomi brought her to the party anyway.. Naomi walked away- gesturing her hand in the typical lady fashion.

This was my time to strike. I walked to the mini bar and requested for a glass of fruit juice. The barman for the night, Kwame ( my classmate) was insisting on mixing with the glass of fruit juice with a little alcohol.. I refused his offer to his shock and amusement. “You don’t drink anymore?” “This drink is not mine, its for a friend” I grabbed it and then I walked towards her.
She was still standing there, visibly confused about the amorous activities happening around her. How could Naomi bring her over here? “Hi” – “Hello” “I was standing over there and I saw, you dropped something?” “That is an old pickup line dude.. I say what did I drop? and then you would say conversation”

She was going to be difficult than I expected but her confidence level was high.. “Okay, you got me there. I am Kwaku and you must be Angela” “How did you know my name?” “I was in your class” “Okay, is that why you walked up to me?” “No. I have been watching you for the last  20 minutes and I thought you needed a glass of  fruit juice?” “Is it laced with alcohol or drugs?” “Oh, no… I am a gentleman” “Thank you, Mr Stalker”

“Can we sit somewhere and talk?” “Okay.. Outside would be cool- there is so much noise over here anyway” My plan seemed to be working perfectly.. I smiled at her, held her hands as we tried moving through the thick  party crowd to the door.

We walked outside to a quiet place and started talking. We spoke about everything- from Archaeology to Zoology, It was amazing how we clicked instantly, and we shared some common interests and hobbies such as music, gaming, politics and sports. I was having so much fun talking to her.. She was the one.. I had the feeling.

I excused myself to go get more fruit juice. As Kwame was making the juice, I turned around and like a bolt of lightening, three guys had torn Naomi’s seductive dress and pushed her into  the pool.. She was virtually naked as the guys fondled her amidst her screams for help.. I did not know whether her shouts were genuine because it actually looked she was kinda laughing and enjoying the exploration of her body. She was simply crying wolf. Two other guys jumped into the pool to rescue her..  And then it hit me.. Oh My God! I left Angela outside.

I was struggling to push myself through the large crowd to get to the door. The noise was still extremely loud and the alcohol I had taken earlier while watching Angela from the other room was started kicking in. My eyes were heavy. I felt dizzy, whilst still trying to push my way through the crowd. I got to the door after so much pushing, pulling and shoving. I looked up to the spot where I left Angela only to see three boys had surrounded her and there was one guy on top of her..
I ran  towards them, with all the strength left in me somehow still holding the glass of fruit juice in one hand..  I could hear her screaming  for help.. She was so helpless.. Screaming and Crying..

The 3 boys watching the act (2 of them had turns on her already), saw the speed at which I was coming towards them and bolted leaving the perpetrator to continue with the act. I got closer and in a flash, he was unconscious with his head bleeding. In my panic, I used the glass to hit to his head, but I did not care. I tried lifting Angela up, but her knees were too weak. “Are you okay?” Angela did not respond. She was too weak and traumatized to say anything.

The anger in me was stirred up. I walked back towards his almost lifeless body. His face was down and I asked him to turn over. “Rapist! Turn over and lemme see your God forsaken face” He tried turning.. He did manage to do a 90 degree turn to his side. The fire in my eyes was red hot. I was filled with so much rage. You Monster! Animal!!. He was pleading for his life but I was not bothered.  I kicked him continuously in the groin and stomach.. And that is when the police arrived..

Fast Forward 8 months later and I am here, sitting in this prison cell, condemned to life imprisonment for killing Jason. Condemned to waste away and die for accidentally killing Jason The Rapist. Newspapers reported the Court’s judgement as a perversion on the Judicial System, but hey.. It was too late. Jason’s dad was hell burnt on putting me behind bars for killing his son and he has achieved his aim..

I feel guilty but not guilty. A part of me feels Jason deserved to die. Another part also feels, it was all a mistake and I could have walked away.. The things we do for love.. Angela has overcome her traumatic gang rape experience and is now fighting my imprisonment with every vein in her. Naomi left the party that night carrying a baby. Till date, nobody knows who the real father is.. The 3 other boys (Accomplices) were never apprehended. They are still at large as we speak.

God Save My Soul..

Diary Of A Ghanaian Househelp: E03 Intentions

Dear Diary,
Today is 23th February. Well, I was sitting in the living room earlier today, watching television with a glass of juice in one hand. There was nothing positive showing on television except for those music videos with girls in seductive clothes, shaking their bum-bum. But I was enjoying myself. It was such a refreshing feeling- the feeling of feeling like Madam in her absence. The music from the television was extremely loud and so I did not hear the car horn toot its way into the house. Abaga, the watchman at the gate failed to alert me but my instincts were right. Madam and Uncle had arrived.

Come and see speed. Even Usain Bolt got nothing on me. I quickly put off the television, emptied the remaining contents of the glass in the kitchen sink and then ran towards the gate all in the space of 60secs. Pretty Fast Huh? Madam together with her husband had just returned from the Shopping Mall but all did not seem or look calm. Maybe they had one of their usual family arguments on their way back because as I tried to help Madam with her bag, she brushed me off and walked angrily into the house! See me, see trouble..

“Akua- come over here and help me with the stuff in the boot?” That was Mr Sackey’s voice. He has been very nice to me and he treats me like I am his daughter. He opened the car boot and then I carried a very heavy box out of the boot and headed for the main entrance. Uncle Sackey then chipped in, that He had bought something special for me and I should see him later for it..

Come see me smiling plenty plenty. “Oh Thank You Uncle. God Bless You” “Hold The blessings Akua for now, maybe if you like what I got for you, then you can start showing appreciation” I started feeling awkward but I brushed the awkwardness away and made my way into the house. Not even madam and her tantrums could ruin my happiness. I later found out that, the heavy box was a Baby Cot for Justin- Madam’s baby.. Hmmmm.. See the way, the rich spoil their kids. Come see baby, enjoying baby cot all around the place.

I retired to the kitchen for the next two hours preparing supper for the family and still thinking about the present or maybe presents, Uncle got for me. I like the man. He is very handsome and gentle and sometimes, I think Christie (Oh Yeah, I have called that witch by her first name!) does not deserve him. Abaga who has known the family for a very long time, said Uncle was forced to marry Christie after her parents found out, she was carrying his baby to prevent shame on their family name.

I served the family at 6pm and then went back to the Kitchen to eat my own food. For some strange reason, Madam did not join the family and retired early to bed. That was when it happened:

Uncle Sackey called me to the living room after 8pm to show me the gifts he got me. “Look in the bag and then tell me if you like them” Eagerly I did and it was bras and some thin threadlike panties which he called “G-String” “Eiiii Ewurade Yesu. G- What? How could he buy these kind of items for me? What was he trying to say or imply? Or he has been spying my undergarments when I wash and hang them on the drying line?

“Do you like them, Akua?” I did not respond. I was shocked. Maybe that caused my sudden dumbness. “Do you like them?” He repeated his question again. “Uncle, honestly I do not know what to say?” “What to say about what??” I turned around to see Auntie Christie staring directly at me.. “Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on here?”

Uncle got up calmly from his seat, held her hands, looked her in the eye, and started kissing her all over. “Why are you still standing there? Stupid Maid!!”  I disappeared to my room with the bag. I was damn lucky Madam was not smart or observant enough to ask about the contents in the bag. He called them- “His intention gift”

“Very Funny Uncle Sackey. I am not interested in sleeping with you” – I kept repeating to myself. I must return his gifts back to him tomorrow morning and say a BLATANT NO TO HIM! Meanwhile in the living room, I knew Uncle Sackey had cleverly lied to Madam. And speaking of the devil- “Akua!” “Akua!” ‘Madam!” I ran back to the living room.. “Oh dear, I am sorry for my earlier outburst- I did not know my husband and you were planning a surprise party for me”

The confusion on my face was clearly visible and I could see laughter forming on the corner of Uncle’s mouth. Maybe I should start calling him by his first name John, because after tonight- I have officially lost all respect for him.. I miss my mother. I miss her wise counsel in situations like this. Lord, Please be my Guide.

@isavedhersoul on twitter and please don’t keep the comments in your head and thank you for taking time off to read..

Diary Of A Ghanaian Househelp: E02 Breaking Plates

Dear Diary,
I was standing by the kitchen sink. Washing the dirty dinner plates and I was trying to be extremely careful because I knew fully well that Auntie Christie would be unable to replace one of these expensive plates if I got it broken.
I put on the tap, put the plate under the flowing water when it hit me. The breeze coming through the kitchen window, hit me and past memories came to life.Memories of him, Memories of Us.  James. He who took my whole being. Him. The one I never saw again.

It was a cool Friday afternoon. James had been trying to woo me for a few weeks and I must admit, he was everything I wanted. He was fair in complexion and tall. He always brought me grass cutters from the bush whenever he went hunting with his friends. He was a man. A real man. All the boys in the village envied him and he was the village ladies man.

That day, I was returning home after visiting a few friends. On my way back, he met me along the path and held my hand. God! I felt happiness within my body. He dragged me along a bush path. He kept telling me that I was going see something I had never seen before. I followed him obediently like a puppy. I wanted to be alone with him. Forever. Have him all to myself.
He took to a small open field with grass. A place where we could do anything, we wanted without getting caught.  I was still staring at his face. He kissed me and Oh My God, I was elated. I was blinded by his love. His lips consumed my lips in a rush. My head exploded. I wanted more. We did not say words to each other.  He held my breasts and pressed the firmly. He pressed his body against mine. Oh My God! I wanted more- more of him.. I held him tighter to my body because my knees felt too weak.  He took his hands down slowly to the lower region of my body. I felt excitement. “James! St——-!” The words could not even come out.

James wanted more but I could not give him more. I wanted to. But I could not. I just could not give him my body. I was raised a Christian. I promised God and my mother that I would wait until marriage.
We sat under a tree that day and watched the sun set. I was in love with James and there was nothing anybody could say or do about it..

The next day, I left for Accra. Without even saying goodbye to the boy of my dreams. Oh. How I miss him. He was my first kiss. On that cool Friday..

*the plate slipped from my hand as I tried to wipe away my tears*
It fell from my hand and shattered into tiny pieces.. Auntie Christie heard the sound from the Main Hall and rushed to the Kitchen.. “What happened here?” Madam screamed.. “It was an accident” I tried explaining.. “An accident?” “Stupid Girl! Foolish Girl, you broke a plate worth $1000 and you say its an accident?” “You are a witch just like your poor mother in the village”

Oh no Auntie! Diary, I received a heavy slap for breaking the plate. Auntie Christie has really changed. I do not know why though. She has become extremely cold towards me. She insults me and my mother all the time and on three occasions, I went to bed on an empty stomach. I miss my mother. I know she is praying for me 😥 I miss James but what can I do? Nothing!! I feel like leaving..All I have is you Diary. You are my best friend.

It is @isavedhersoul on twitter and please don’t keep the comments in your head. Say something.