If you have been following my writing for the last couple of weeks, you would realize, I have been writing more about relationships. (Don’t ask me why though, or else, tears will stream down my cheeks.)
For sometime now, I have been wondering why I am single and not dating. Have you wondered that too? Have you wondered why, most if not all your close friends have stable relationships and you are somewhat like the black sheep of the group?
Now I am going to attempt to answer this question from different viewpoints, I may or may not be wrong and you might find that you belong to one or more of the categories. I don’t know. Shall we proceed?
FUNNY, UGLY GUYS
What is the yardstick for measuring beauty? What defines beauty? How can you tell, who/what is beautiful from who/what is not beautiful? Aren’t “ugly people” married? The people who married such ugly people, don’t they know what/who is “beautiful”? Here is the thing, you can be funny around women most of the time. Then you pick one out of the lot, you hang out with her, get to know her and then, you start dating. 1 month- everything seems fine and rosy, after all, your sarcastic self is carrying you through.. Second month, its still going on smoothly, till she starts to realize, its not about cracking jokes anymore.. There is more to handling a woman than simply being funny.. And then, everything turns sour. But my brother reading this, listen to me, if your excuse for being single is because you think, you are ugly, then you need to wake up from that thought and find the woman that loves you for who you are and not what you are or are not. Facial constitution is not a barrier to love. That area boy who does not even bath daily and smells terribly, still has that one girl who calls him “honey”. My friend, gather up your balls and walk up to that lady. Let your inner beauty speak for you! Let your charm and charisma sweep her off her feet! Let your voice cause her to climax faster than the climax from Joy Daddy Bitters. You get my point? Now lets move on..
YOU DON’T HAVE MONEY
Truthfully, money makes dating (a relationship) beautiful.. A girl once told me and I quote: “Romance without finance is a total nuisance.” Are you as poor or maybe even poorer than a church mouse but then, you love this particular girl? However you have been told that relationships are expensive and you need money to maintain the fuel of love. Let me tell you man; money should not stop you from committing to a woman. Believe me, there are girls out there, who are willing to ignore the absence of money.. All those romantic movies, you watch are scripted.. Do not be deceived.. But really, you should work your ass off to change your present ‘broke” conditions. She may overlook your “brokeness” in the short term.. But for how long? Work HARD! Who says God does not open doors? Who says God can not change your story? Being “broke” is temporary, being poor is somewhat supposed to permanent, but still, people rise out of poverty to greatness. Don’t they? I think, I am getting carried away now. Let’s move on.
YOU ARE A PLAYER
How does it feel to be “eating” a variety of dishes from the same menu? Guys already know what they want.. Why sign up permanently for one club, when you can play matches for different clubs whenever you want? Tell me girl, what will trigger him to commit to you, after he has finished tasting the forbidden fruit? These guys are players till they eventually get to a point where they realize that there is more to life than playing but this realization might take forever. Be there and be forming C. Ronaldo till it gets to the point where we wont C. Ronaldo anymore.. Be wise, my brother..
YOU ARE HANDSOME
Unlike the ugly ones like yours truly, this group actually believe that they are God’s gift to women. These guys walk and act like they don’t even shit. And even if they shit sef, their shit doesn’t stink. Their shit is probably what chocolate are made from. (I have not intention of ruining your appetite for chocolate.) So yeah, they wait for the perfect woman that complements their looks but the funny part is that they lack so much in personality, sense, manners and the basic things that make up a normal human being. I am not jealous or anything because I am a fine boy too.. I mean, on a scale of 0 – 10, I am probably a 6.5 (that’s above average, if you must know) You better stop deceiving yourself up and down thinking, you are some sort of a superstar. OPPOSITES ATTRACT, so relax, my brother.. RELAX!!
YOUR MEMBER IS TOO BIG
Funny as this reason may sound, you are single because actually, you are considering the damage you will wreck if you attempt to put your baton inside her. I mean, people don’t appreciate what you’re doing because they don’t understand but it’s okay, my nigga. Your type is rare. God bless you for being very, very considerate. Keep being single for the greater good of mankind.
YOU ARE UGLY AND BROKE
Brother, relationship is not for everyone. Please become a Catholic Priest..
Well, I am sure I have not exhausted all the reasons. There are likely more reasons why you are single. Maybe because you are waiting for a particular girl to break up with her guy, so you can grab her, maybe you don’t believe in dating before marriage or maybe you have just decided that you want to be a Catholic priest or something. If you are single, please share your reasons and add more in the comments box. The “couples” are welcome too. Peace.