What’s up with everyone?
I have noticed for a while now, that a lot of people are beefing on Social Media especially on my FB News feed. So today guys, we are just going to talk about the Do’s and Don’ts of Facebook Fights and Facebook Scandals. I have been laughing out loud at the some of the guys beefing over who is more FB FAMOUS, Who is fake? and their supporters( friends) have joined in this craze.
Facebook Fight Rules:
1.If you are both girls and you decide to share stories of your beef and stupidity, please include people’s names. Whoever mentions names wins.
2. Make sure your Facebook profile picture is worth looking at. It is cute. (after we see the names of those fighting, we ALWAYS want to check out their picture).
3. Ensure that your spellings are correct and you do not abbreviate. If you write like an idiot, we just conclude that you are one. Stuff like “yur jut a fuul. I kant be fight yu” NO!! NO!!!
4. Have solid, original punch lines (things like “your bride price is one pack of indomie, you are killing my phone battery with your darkness etc etc. The key is to be funny and dope..
5. Do NOT delete your account afterwards or block afterwards. (That just makes you look like a coward)
6. If you can back up your Facebook insults with pictures, I will definitely “dey your back”
7. For guys, the more intellectual your punches are, the better. (don’t tell us the size of your manhood or the women you have slept with from Facebook. We don’t care)
8. Guys, it is a chicken move to bring family members into your fights. Face the person man-to-man. Do not insult their family
9. Never, NEVER Google insults. NEVER!!!
10. Sometimes, silence is the key! But not when you started the beef or the fight!
Moving on to Part 2. These rules applies to the girls who are perceived to be sleeping around with boys from Facebook and they fight with people every now and then about it. Boys always claim to be sleeping or have slept with these girls publicly and privately..
1. If you must shag anyone and his friend, make sure they are both filthy rich. (make sure you brag about it. Add it to your Facebook bio, and professional CV sef). Lmfao..
2. Keep your medical history to yourself. Don’t come online talking about how people are lying about you infecting boys with diseases. It can and will be used against you when the time is right.
3. If you are a bad, naughty girl (in that sense) or used to be one, NEVER make random discriminatory remarks about other bad, naughty girls EVEN if they try to steal your man. Hypocrisy is not good and those girls can also blow your story too..
4. Lastly but MOST importantly, have NO friends! You don’t want to be involved in every cat fight on Facebook. This is bad for business and your true value (per night) might be revealed.
Unlike Facebook fights, these do not necessarily involve back and forth confrontations, but a situation where the whole Facebook has you on trending on their news feed and you are the recipient of several Fb posts and direct insults. Emmm, who can I use as example now? Oh yeah!! do you guys remember that chick on Facebook (Rudaitu) who had her leaked naked picture collaged with her v-jay jay by her ex- boyfriend or so?.. Well, that right there was a Facebook scandal. Another example was the case of the leaked Opoku Ware sex tape. 😀 Lets learn some lessons from these scandals. Shall we??
1.Like Twitter fights, ensure your profile picture is worth looking at. This is the first thing that would be checked out (good thing, Rudiatu was a fine girl)
2. Do NOT try to defend yourself. It is Facebook. We do not want an explanation. We want the entertainment.
3. When in the spotlight, your real friends are revealed. Most will even join and insult you too. The true ones stay true but for the snakes under grass, (pray that their time comes too and when it does, rub the pepper in their eyes very well for them)
4. Make light humor out of it all. If you can laugh at yourself, the direct insults won’t hurt that bad. (but no lie, it can pain roff!!)
5. If you decide to engage your “attackers”, ensure you have the intellectual depth to do so. Be witty and smart or just shut the hell up! (Also ensure your battery is full and you have good network reception)
6. When you are trending on FB for wrong reasons, that is NOT the time to post stuffs totally unrelated to the subject.
There are people who will naturally come to your aid whenever you are losing a fight on FB. Your team, Your ride-or-die boys boys and Sisters. There are some rules regarding that as well. Lets use the most recent FB fight an example.. The one between Okromansah and Smart Kidd.. (I don’t know any of them personally, so you can not accuse me of supporting any of them) I am a neutral person..
1.The FB Profile Picture:
This point cannot be over emphasized. Did you see what became of Mr X? Did you see how quick the tables turned on him? Dude was having fun dissing but he ignored the number 1 rule: “Ensure that you have a FB profile picture worth looking at.” If you don”t, remove the picture and free your mind, don’t use your picture and just hush up!!
2. Do not bite more than what you can chew especially if you already have a mouthful 😀
3.Do not make an ASS of yourself in the process 😀
4. If a spoof picture is made of/for you, do NOT use it as your avatar in an attempt to ‘laugh at yourself, it makes you look more stupid.
5. Make sure the person you’re fighting for, knows who you are. (otherwise, we will diss you next)
6. Except you have some certain kinda levels on Facebook, example you are a Facebook Celeb, demi god. Do NOT brag about helping diss other people. Most times, all you will get is nothing..
7.The most respected Dissers show their face in their FB profile picture. Dem no dey fear huuuuu.. If you are hiding behind pictures and stuff, you are just a coward…You aint no disser.. So just shut the hell up!
In all of this, please remember that what goes around comes around. Always be prepared for anything.. Now let us pray:
“Father, I pray for all that have read this post, I pray that you bless them with wisdom. I pray for all of them that insult and always create Facebook Scandals. Father, do same unto them, make their yawa bigger. Give them a scandal. Lord, as they have laughed at others, give us a reason to laugh at them. After all, Your Word says we should laugh with those that laugh. Let us be awake when their matter arises, let our network be good. For those seeking more facebook friends, Father give them a battle to fight, let them trend. Let them feel what Mr X and Miss R felt. We know its not a long thing for you to do. Thank you Lord…and let the people say…
I have gotta go. Till I come your way again, its your boy @ISAVEDHERSOUL. Any further advice on these issues, feel free to share it with me via Facebook. And P.S: Everything I have said, also applies to TWITTER too.. Peace!